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JayBird352
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Name: Jay
Location: Fort Wayne, Indiana, United States
Gender: Male
Interests: God, my homeboys, tubing, wakeboarding, and all that other stuff I like to do
Expertise: You know...that one thing I can do...TENNIS
Occupation: Manufacturing/production
Industry: Construction
Message: message me
Member Since:
7/10/2005
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| I was just takin' a gander at the old comments from my last post, to find something out of order. I received a comment that said as follows "kool...................almost prolly a dumb entry" I'm not going to say who posted the comment, but if you want to know, you can check yourself. I'm sorry, I didn't realize people forced you to read my Xanga. Am I wrong? Do I stand over you with a gun at your head to make you read my posts? I'm sorry, but I think the correct answer is indubitably no.
With that asside, I must ask myself. Are my posts not just for amusement of the commoners? Somewhere they can go to get a good laugh? I believe the answer thus far to that question has been a simple "yes". It is for people who come to my site, in hope of some common enjoyment in this dark world. I am a little light of hope for people.
And then some imposter as of late has been telling everyone that HE is the real Jay Schwartz. And after pondering this for quite some time, I never could recall posting any of those entries or even creating that xanga site. I'm confused by this. If he is the real Jay Schwartz who am I? In this lonely world, an I nothing more then his shadow? NO!!! I AM JAY SCHWARTZ...HE is the "Imposter". So poser, whoever you are, I wish you be banished from my website, and to never set foot here again. If you fail to comply, you will have to pay the price.
The REAL Jay Schwartz...* | | |
| Well...you all know what time it is don't you? It's finally time for me to put in this little weblog (or blog if you will) for my friends, who have much requested it from me.
People want to know what I'm up to. It's true! Just the other day, somebody walked up to me and said to me "Jay, what have you been up to lately". Well, I replied "Mr. President, I know it's been a long time since we have last talked, but not much has gone on in my life." (If you could reference yourself back to previous xanga posts, cancer is cured and I have done the world several favors, NASA is forever in debt to me, and I had a date with none other then Kiera Knightly, and other random chicks. Unfortunate though it didn't work out for us.
Anyway, I continued to G W (that's what I call him, you might know him as Mr. Bush, George W., George W. Bush, or simply, Mr. President). I said, "You know G. W., life for me has been kinda busy, I know I haven't done much of anything that you would know of, but I've been busy keeping my woman (Miss Kirsten Wurster) happy. You see Mr. Bush, we are what you could call "attatched at the hip" so therefore, anything I do, she's there, anything I see, she see's. Our relationship is going well, and I would like to say, someday, we'll probably get married."
I'm sorry ladies, but that's the way it has to be. My deepest sympothies for those who I have angered with this. I'm sorry ladies, being a chick magnet sucks at times, but I can easily get over it quite simply and easily. So sorry to those I have lead on, and I'll invite you to the wedding.
For all of you who would like to know what my future plans are here's a list of what I have to do this week (starting sunday the 27th of November, in the year of our Lord 2005):
1. Cure Bird Flu (make sure to get that done by wednesday, Eli Liley wants that vaccine by TUESDAY!!)
2. Write a new Calculous text book (McGraw Hill Needs it to be done by Wednesday 5:00 A.M.)
3. Osama keeps calling, he needs a new hiding spot, call him back and give him a new place.
4. Pick up milk at the grocers, 2%
5. 12 dozen eggs
6. 500 rolls of toilet paper
7. 100 pounds of potatoes
8. PVC pipe for Potatoe "Tosser..."
9. I still have a couple hundred versions of the Bible to get out, so if you guys want to do something this week, how about doing some translating for me? Zondervan would be very greatful.
10. Clean out the Ford Contour, the most pimp car in Berne.
11. Wax the Contour
12. Write a list for next week
13. Update Xanga?
So as you can see, there is a bunch for me to do this week, so yeah, if you really want to do something some night, and you don't want to call anyone but me to do something (because everybody loves a Schwartz), DON'T. I mean seriously, as if I don't have enough to do. Honestly, if you call to do something, I'll either not answer my phone, or hang up on you, and oh top of that all, hate you...FOREVER!!! Don't underestimate the power of THE Schwartz.
Jay...*
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| Sup my peeps!
Well I would just like to give a quick shout out to my best friend in the world Constance Bailey! Woot Woot Girl!!! She really cool and always gets what I'm saying, like that holes in the jeans thing I came up with. Personally, I think all you common folk should wear uniforms but she said we didn't have the money for that and I am not going to donate money again. (They used the last check for the gym. They said they were going to build a statue of me and didn't. Bunch of two bit mother....)
Anyway, some guy from the SAT organization stopped by and begged me to try out the tests for next year. I said yes but that I was busy so it would take me a long time to do them. So he waited five minutes and they were done.
Besides that and the fact I stopped the bubonic plague (again! That dern thing keeps on coming back) my week has been pretty uneventful. Oh! I was asked to take over FEMA but there is no way I'm messing with that. It's just not cool to hang out with hurricane victims. They bring you down.
Well, I will allow you all to talk to me later,
Your future ruler,
Jay...! | | |
| well, I just realized that I haven't updated in a very long time, but I
don't really have much to say. So this is just a reminder that I
still rule, and all the girls love me.
Jay...*
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| Welp, school has started, and as I figured...it was so
boring!!! I mean seriously Calc.?...what was so tough about
this class again? I've tested out of Calc and Physics, which
really surprised Mr Huser and Mr Baer...since I took the test right
after attendence was taken. Proof to you all once again, that
there is no power, like Schwartz power. I saw the stupidest
bumper sticker the other day. It said that the world would be
perfect if John Deere made a truck...what the heck?...that doesn't even
make sence. But luckily for all of you, I have slowly been taking
care of all the problems of the word. NASA called me up
yesterday, so at the end of the month I am suppose to go fix the
O-Zone...no big deal. oh, and I think poverty should pretty much
be non existant. Right now I'm working on fixing Microsoft's
Windows...this might be the one task to ever defeat me!!! It's
full of bugs, random terrible errors, and get this...they actually
program this screen into your computer called the "blue screen of
death" which pretty much is as bad as it sounds...yeah...it means your
computer is done for, call the corinor...that thing is dead, and it's
down for the count...yeah...it's that bad. I think it might be
easier to just write my own Operating System, which will be started in
November, because I'm thinkin' I'll probably give up on this whole
"trying-to-save-Microsoft" stuff. Look for it on store shelfs
November 16. It will be loaded with Schwartz...that is one thing
I can promise all of ya. Welp, I'm off for my date with Heidi
Klum, and Keira Knightly tomorrow night, and Aubrey Sprunder
friday. One date with "thee Schwartz" after another. Kinda
tiring, but the ladies can't get enough of me, and you can't turn down
a free meal...that's right fella's...they like me so much they are
willing to PAY!!! Not to bad...Welp, I'm off to cure cancer
before the date.
Jay...*
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